"Students nowadays are so clueless", the math professor complains to a colleague.
"Yesterday, a student came to my office hours and wanted to know if General Calculus was a Roman war hero…"
A mathematician organizes a raffle in which the prize is an infinite amount of money paid over an infinite amount of time.
Of course, with the promise of such a prize, his tickets sell like hot cake.
When the winning ticket is drawn, and the jubilant winner comes to claim his prize, the mathematician explains the mode of payment: "1 dollar now, 1/2 dollar next week, 1/3 dollar the week after that…"
A math student and a computer science student are jogging together in a park when they hear a voice: "Please, help me!"
They stop and look. The voice belongs to a frog sitting in the grass.
"Please, help me!" the frog repeats. "I'm not really a frog: I'm an enchanted, beautiful princess. Kiss me, and the spell will be broken – and I will be yours forever…"
The CS student picks up the frog and examines it carefully from all sides – making not even an attempt to kiss it.
"You don't have to marry me", the frog continues frantically, "if you're afraid of the commitment. I'll do whatever you wish me to do if you just kiss me…"
The frog's voice is silenced, when the CS student puts the animal into the right pocket of his pants.
"But why don't you kiss her?!" the math student asks.
"You know", the CS student replies, "I simply don't have time for a girlfriend – but a frog that talks makes a really cool pet…"
A visitor at the Royal Tyrell Museum asks a museum employee: "Can you tell me how old the skeleton of that T-Rex is?"
"It is precisely 60 million and three years, two months, and eighteen days old."
"How can you know that with such precision?!"
"Well, when I started working here, one of the scientists told me that the skeleton was 60 million years old – and that was precisely three years, two months, and eighteen days ago…"
"Divide fourteen sugar cubes into three cups of coffee so that each cup has an odd number of sugar cubes in it."
"That's easy: one, one, and twelve."
"But twelve isn't odd!"
"It's an odd number of cubes to put in a cup of coffee…"
A mathematician gives a talk intended for a general audience. The talk is announced in the local newspaper, but he expects few people to show up because nobody who is not a mathematician will be able to make any sense of the title: Convex sets and inequalities.
To his surprise, the auditorium is crammed when his talk begins. After he has finished, someone in the audience raises his hand.
"But you said nothing about the actual topic of your talk!"
"What topic to you mean?"
"Well, the one that was announced in the paper: Convicts, sex, and inequality."
At the end of his course on mathematical methods in optimization, the professor sternly looks at his students and says: "There is one final piece of advice I'm going to give you now: Whatever you have learned in my course – never ever try to apply it to your personal lives!"
"Why?" the students ask.
"Well, some years ago, I observed my wife preparing breakfast, and I noticed that she wasted a lot of time walking back and forth in the kitchen. So, I went to work, optimized the whole procedure, and told my wife about it."
"And what happened?!"
"Before I applied my expert knowledge, my wife needed about half an hour to prepare breakfast for the two of us. And now, it takes me less than fifteen minutes…"
Q: What is the most erotic number?
A: 2110593!
Q: Why?
A: When 2 are 1 and don't pay at10tion, they'll know within 5 weeks whether or not, after 9 months, they'll be 3…
Two math students, a boy and his girlfriend, are going to a fair. They are in line to ride the ferris wheel when it shuts down.
The boy says: "It's a sin for those people to keep us waiting like this!"
The girl replies: "No – it's a cosin, silly!!!"
Q: What do you get if you add two apples and three apples?
A: A high school math problem!
Q: What is the difference between a mathematician and a philosopher?
A: The mathematician only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work – the philosopher can do without the trash bin…
A newlywed husband is discouraged by his wife's obsession with mathematics. Afraid of being second fiddle to her profession, he finally confronts her: "Do you love math more than me?"
"Of course not, dear – I love you much more!"
Happy, although sceptical, he challenges her: "Well, then prove it!"
Pondering a bit, she responds: "Ok… Let epsilon be greater than zero…"
It is only two weeks into the term that, in a calculus class, a student raises his hand and asks: "Will we ever need this stuff in real life?"
The professor gently smiles and says: "Of course not – if your real life will consist of flipping hamburgers at MacDonald's!"
A math professor, a native Texan, was asked by one of his students: "What is mathematics good for?"
He replied: "This question makes me sick! If you show someone the Grand Canyon for the first time, and he asks you `What's it good for?' What would you do? Well, you kick that guy off the cliff!"
Adalah dipohon kepada para graduan yang telah berkonvokesyen mulai tahun 2006 hingga 2013 bagi mengemaskini status anda di capaian ini : SistemSKPG I - Kemas Kini Status Pekerjaan.
Kementerian Pendidikan Malaysia ingin memaklumkan terdapat satu laman web dan laman Facebook yang mendakwa menyediakan Bantuan Dana Pendidikan yang diberi nama BANTUAN DANA PENDIDIKAN 2013.
Lecturer User Manual CIDOS e-Learningpreview online Lecturer User Manual CIDOS e BAHAGIAN PEMBANGUNAN KURIKULUM-Learning & BAHAGIAN KECEMERLANGAN INSTRUKSIONAL JABATAN PENGAJIAN POLITEKNIK Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower,
FORMAT PENULISANpreview online FORMAT PENULISAN TITLE (B OLD, SIZE 14, UPPERCASE, CENTER) Author 11, Author 22 and Author3 (B old, Title Case, Size 11, Center) 1, 2 Politeknik Ungku Omar, Ipoh, Perak
DASAR DAN PRINSIP PENTAKSIRAN POLITEKNIKpreview online DASAR DAN PRINSIP PENTAKSIRAN POLITEKNIK 2 2.2 Pentaksiran yang mempunyai nilai kesahan Kesahan memastikan aktiviti dan kriteria pentaksiran yang dilaksanakan
cidos.edu.my domain lookup results from whois.domainregistry.my server: Welcome to .my DOMAIN REGISTRY Whois Server. -------------------------------------------------- For alternative search, whois -h whois.domainregistry.my xxxxx#option Type the command as below for display help: whois -h whois.domainregistry.my help#h Note: Code is previously known as MYNIC Handle. Please note that the query limit is 500 per day from the same IP. -------------------------------------------------- SEARCH BY DOMAIN NAME a [Domain Name] cidos.edu.my b [Registration No.] D5A002578 c [Record Created] 11-AUG-2010 d [Record Expired] 11-AUG-2014 e [Record Last Modified] 25-JUL-2013 f [Invoicing Party] MYNIC Billing Department .my DOMAIN REGISTRY Level 3, Block C, Mines Waterfront Business Park No.3, Jalan Tasik, Mines Resort City 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia billing@domainregistry.my (Tel) 603-89917272 (Fax) 603-89917277 g [Registrant Code] RKEY0000012856 Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik (Government) Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor (Tel) 03-89394000 (Fax) 03-89394449 h [Administrative Contact Code] CKEY0000020187 Encik Harun bin Sahat Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia harun@mohe.gov.my (Tel) 03-89394477 (Fax) 03-89394449 i [Billing Contact Code] CKEY0000020187 Encik Harun bin Sahat Jabatan Pengajian Politeknik Aras 11, Heritage Office Tower, Jalan SB Dagang, 43300 Seri Kembangan Selangor Malaysia harun@mohe.gov.my (Tel) 03-89394477 (Fax) 03-89394449 j [Technical Contact Code] EXA-REGI0.CON Exabytes Network Registrar Exabytes Network Sdn Bhd 1-18-8, Suntech Penang Cybercity Lintang Mayang Pasir 3, 11950 Bayan Baru Pulau Pinang Malaysia domain@exabytes.com.my (Tel) 604-6308283 (Fax) 604-6308288 k [Primary Name Server] SKEY0000012529 ns1191.dns.dyn.com 208.76.58.191 l [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012530 ns2145.dns.dyn.com 208.76.59.145 [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012531 ns3171.dns.dyn.com 208.76.60.171 [Secondary Name Server] SKEY0000012532 ns4130.dns.dyn.com 208.76.61.130 Disclaimer :- MYNIC, the Registry for .my has collected this information for the WHOIS database through a MYNIC-Accredited Reseller. This information is provided to you for informational purposes only and is designed to assist persons in determining contents of a domain name registration record in the MYNIC registry database. MYNIC makes this information available to you "as is" and does not guarantee its accuracy. By submitting a WHOIS query, you agree that you will use this data only for lawful purposes and that, under no circumstances will you use this data: (1) to allow, enable, or otherwise support the transmission of mass unsolicited, commercial advertising or solicitations via electronic mail, or otherwise; (2) for spamming or speculative purposes or commercial purpose; (3) to enable high volume, automated, electronic processes that apply to the registry (or its systems) or (4) for any other abusive purpose Compilation, repackaging, dissemination, or other use of the WHOIS database in its entirety, or of a substantial portion thereof, is not allowed without MYNIC's prior written permission. MYNIC reserves the right to modify or change these conditions at any time without prior or subsequent notification of any kind. By executing this query, in any manner whatsoever, you agree to abide by these terms. NOTE: FAILURE TO LOCATE A RECORD IN THE WHOIS DATABASE IS NOT INDICATIVE OF THE AVAILABILITY OF A DOMAIN NAME. All domain names are subject to MYNIC's Registration Rules and Agreement for the Registration of Domain Name. For details, please visit our website at www.domainregistry.my.
Today Penang Port welcomes 27 students and 2 lecturers from Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah, Kulim. The visit was held at North Butterworth Container Terminal (NBCT) office. After briefing session, students were taken for sight-seeing inside NBCT operations area.
Proses Pendaftaran Pelajar diselesaikan dalam tempoh satu (1) jam bagi calon yang mengemukakan dokumen pendaftaran yang lengkap.
1548
100
-
-
Proses Pemberian Perkhidmatan Pendidikan ( PPP ) dilaksanakan secara sistematik, terancang dan berkesan berdasarkan sukatan kursus terkini yang dibekalkan Bahagian Pembangunan Kurikulum
67
100
-
-
Status tindakan terhadap maklum balas pelanggan akan dimaklumkan dalam tempoh dua ( 2 ) minggu selepas maklum balas diterima
36
100
-
-
Keputusan akhir peperiksaan diproses dalam tempoh dua ( 2 ) minggu selepas semester pengajian berakhir
-
-
-
-
* Nota : Pencapaian Piagam Pelanggan Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah dinilai dua (2) kali setahun.
Makluman kepada semua, Portal e-Pembelajaran Politeknik dan CIDOS 1.8 akan mengalami gangguan kerana kerja-kerja penyelenggaraan dilaksanakan pada 15 November 2014 (00.00 pg) - 21 November 2014 (23.59 mlm).
Karnival Majlis Sukan Politeknik ( MSP ) 2014 anjuran Politeknik Sultan Salahuddin Abdul Aziz Shah ( PSA ), Shah Alam akan diadakan seperti ketetapan berikut :
.png)
0 Comment for "Recent Posts - Blog Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah - Politeknik Tuanku Sultanah Bahiyah"